Blind them with your light
I’m Zarnaz. I’m a content creator, coffee addict, writer, and engineer. I am very passionate about the science of people. I want to know what inspires you, motivates you and drives you to make better choices. And I want to know how I can help you to create an extraordinary life filled with passion and love, a life that you are obsessed with.
I create content about personal development, self-love, self-care, organization, productivity, time management, personal finance, basically everything you need to build a balanced, healthy and positive life.
This is my story
I dreamed of touching the stars even before I was completely capable of understanding what that meant for me. As far as I could remember I was an ambitious child. Whatever expectations my parents placed on me, I chose to carry ten times more weight on my shoulder. As I grew older, I placed my self-worth completely on my success, on my talents, on the numbers on my grade sheets.
For a long time, I tried to find the roots of my wild ambition. Stories involving a child crushed underneath a parade of unreasonable expectations usually have over expecting parents on the background, but that was not the case for me. There was no reason behind my ambition or my unfathomable fear of failure. It’s just who I was.
I was so afraid to fail that this toxic fear help me back from trying anything new, from taking risks or just, living life in general. I kept myself from diving into anything that didn’t have the possibility of a 100% success.
One night I was sitting on a bus on my way back home from college. It was midnight. And suddenly I had this ominous feeling that something terrible was about to happen. There was another bus behind us, which also stopped unexpectedly. As we were trying to figure what was happening we heard a scream coming from the vehicle behind us, first one, then another, followed by a ten more.
A group of robbers forced their way into the bus behind us. And we were next.
I waited for the feeling of terror to take over, but it never came. Me, this girl who was so afraid to fail that she kept herself inside a shell for her entire life was not afraid when the possibility of death came knocking at her door.
I didn’t understand why I felt nothing.
And at that moment I realized that I placed so much of my self-worth on my success that even my life seemed insignificant in comparison. I was more afraid of failing than losing my life.
And how could I possibly love my life?
How could I possibly love my life when I forced myself to hide from it for all these years?
The police arrived before the robbers could get into our bus. And from that day, I decided that if I was going to be on this earth for years, I was going to live instead of just surviving. I was going to build a life I was deeply and madly in love with so that the mere thought of losing it becomes unbearable. My journey towards building my self-love and self-worth started that on that very night, three years ago.
I’ve come a long way since. For the past three years, I’ve lived more than I ever had in my whole life. I am still as ambitious and as driven as I ever was, but it no longer consumes me. I realized that regardless of my failures I am worthy, and have been all along.
Behind Cocoa Dust
I created this blog to help people find themselves, to help them learn to love themselves unconditionally regardless of their flaws, to help them realize their worth and to help them create a life that they are obsessed with.
The tagline of my site is to remind you that every atom in your body was once a part of a star, something so stubborn and strong that even after its life ended, it refused to be gone. You have been created from its remains, like a Pheonix rising from the ashes. That is how wonderful you are. And I think it is absolutely unacceptable for you to live your life not knowing that.
May we all live a life that is vibrant, beautiful and overflowing with passion and love.