Journaling Prompts To Cultivate Healthy Relationships
I’ve used to have this love and hate relationship with journaling. I used to tell myself that I didn’t have the time. But the truth was that journaling forced you to explore parts of yourself you don’t want to see. It compels you to take a deep dive into your twisted little mind, and I didn’t always like what I found in there. So instead of resolving my issues, I took the easy path and pretended that they didn’t exist.
In my second year of college, I went through a very devastating breakup. Along with my ex, my self-confidence and self-worth took a trip to Antarctica. The breakup wasn’t just devastating because I lost someone who was once a major part of my life, but it made me realize that how much I thrived off of the validation of the people around me. I placed a lot of value in other people’s perception of me. If that validation was gone, or that perception was somehow flawed, I felt like nothing.
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I decided that this was a very sad way to live my life and this needed to change. I become very self-reflective, and for the very first time, I decided that my issues were too serious to run away from. That’s when I found Journey.
Journey is an award-winning app, where you can journal, track your mood, and log the important events of your life in both photos and words. You can either choose to write what you want, or you can choose to enroll in a free journal coaching program.
How coaching programs work is that once you choose a program to enroll in, everyday for the next week, or month, or year depending on the length of the program you signed up for, you’ll see a journal writing prompt in waiting for in your profile. The prompts give you a topic to think about and write related to the area of your life you are looking to work on each day.
The deeper you think about the prompts the more you’ll find your long buried issues beginning to surface so you can slowly begin to resolve them. Coaching programs can be as short as a day or a week, or as long as months or years and most of them aim to improve your mental health, and your relationships with yourself and the people around you. Most of them give you daily journal prompts for one or two weeks which helps you get into the habits of journaling
I think one of the issues I had with writing on paper journals is the lack of privacy. I live in a tiny dorm room with four other girls. Even though we respect each other’s boundaries enough not to pry, but that annoying what if used to bother me a lot. Journey solved that problem for me.
So, I cannot explain how excited I was when they reached out to me for a collaboration and asked me to write a coaching program for their app. This is the very first time a brand approached me for collaboration which is extremely unexpected considering the fact my blog is still just a 2-month-old infant. Okay, I will come back down to earth now.
I named the program Discover your Relationships Style. It’s designed to make you look inward to help you cultivate better relationships, romantic relationships to be more specific. I really hope my super conservative parents don’t find this blog.
I think we often jump into relationships before discovering who we are, what we want in a relationship, and how we want to be treated. This is why we often feel unloved, unappreciated, or become stuck in relationships that drain us instead of spending our time developing healthy relationships that nurture us. I designed this coaching program to help you embark on a journey of a different kind of self-discovery, where you explore your expectations from your partner, find your love language, and resolve issues that can stand in the way of creating a beautiful, healthy relationship.
I put a lot of thought into each journaling prompt, and carefully designed the program to help you take a compassionate yet critical look at your needs and expectations. The program is split into two parts. Each part consists of seven daily journal prompts that you can complete in a week. I went ahead and made these two graphics for you to present my prompts, which I know, is very unnecessary. But I was bored. And for some reason, I had the rare urge to be a little extra.
The first part of the course consists of 7 journaling prompts. They’re designed to help you assess your expectation about your relationships and your partner, and take a critical look at your expectations to check if you are setting the bar too high.
I think one of the downsides of Hollywood romance movies is that we get our idea of what a relationship should be from films that are based on a man or woman’s fantasy. The result is that we nourish this unrealistic idea of romantic relationships that tell us that they should be perfect, struggle free, and the high that we experience at the beginning of a relationship should last forever. When in reality that high isn’t supposed to last longer than 6-8 months.
Relationships in real life are hard work, effort, compromise, and understanding from both ends. So, it’s very important to have a realistic idea of what a relationship should look like before you jump into one, because that ideal picture in your head may kill a lot of beautiful relationships with amazing people that were might have otherwise, lasted a lifetime.
These prompts will help you assess your communication and conflict resolution skills. They will help you discover how well you handle conflicts, arguments, or discomfort which is sure to happen if you spend too much time with one person, and help you think about how you can become better at resolving conflicts. Avoiding long needed conflicts are also a reason for so many relationship problems because when someone buries their anger for a long time it will turn into contempt.
These prompts are also designed for you to contemplate whether you want to start a relationship for the right reasons. One mistake I made when I was a freshman in college is that I suddenly became very lonely because of being away from my family and my sisters for the first time and all that. To get over that loneliness, I jumped into relationships with people who I knew in my heart weren’t for me. But I didn’t care, and all I wanted was not to feel so alone all the time. And this caused me to put up with a psychologically abusive partner for months.
When we jump into relationships do get rid of our loneliness, we do it not out of love but out of desperation. You can’t think clearly when you are desperate, and make stupid choices that may give you scars that you bear for a very long time. So we need to consider how comfortable we are with being alone, learn to enjoy spending time with ourselves so we are not afraid of losing our company, and know that we are in a relationship because we are madly in love with the right person.
The second part may be a little confusing to people who aren’t familiar with the five love languages. To give you an idea, the way a person feels loved and appreciated is different for different people. The five love languages mention five ways a person feels love. The success of a relationship largely depends on whether the people involved in it know each other’s love language.
For example, Jacob does chores for Cathy every day. He dutifully takes out the trash, cooks delicious dinners, and immediately fixes anything around the house that needs tweaking. He thinks that by putting effort into doing these chores he is showing his love for his partner. Bur Cathy’s love language is words of affirmation, which means she feels loved and appreciated when someone tells her how much they love and cherish her. She thinks that Jacob does these chores out of responsibility rather than love.
This is the story of so many couples I’ve met where each person puts a lot of effort in their relationships, but the other barely notices because they are not putting effort in the right places. This is the root of a lot of relationship problems. So, you can see how important it is to know how our partners understand love and express love in their language. It is the secret to building healthy relationships. Even though these prompts were meant to help you in romantic relationships, you can apply this concept to all kinds of relationships in you life.
The five love languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. If you want an in-depth understanding of what each of these are, give my post on How to Find Your Partner’s Love Language a read.
Back to our topic in hand, the second portion of the course you will find your love language. You’ll start this course by discovering how you express love to the people you value. This is important because the way we express love may often be different from how we expect love from other people.
On the five subsequent days, you’ll recall a memory. Each memory involves you receiving love from someone in the form of one of the five love languages. On the final day, you’ll discover your love language by choosing your favorite memory. It is day 1, your love language is words of affirmation. Day 2 and it is receiving gifts, day 3 is physical touch, day 4 is acts of service, and day 5 is quality time.
I used my coaching program before submitting it to Journey to make sure that the journaling prompts were able to tap into the parts of the writer I wanted to tap into. And I am positive that I achieved what I wanted through these journaling prompts. I must say, I am quite proud of how the program turned out to be 🙂
I honestly didn’t think that someone with as many issues as me could possibly give relationship advice and write a coaching program meant to help people resolve their psychological and mental issues, but I am confident that this will help you.
Give my program a try and let me know in the comments below if it helped you get to know yourself more and become better at creating meaningful and nurturing relationships or any other feedback you have. Just the realization that something I worked hard on has helped someone, would mean the world me.
About The Author
Hi, I’m Zarnaz. I’m a self help junkie, caffeine addict, writer, engineer and I’m extremely passionate about the science of people. I want to know what inspires you, motivates you, drives you to make better choices and ultimately, how to help you reach your full potential. This is a blog dedicated to that cause.